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Duck Vaginas

Shameless 2

Duck Vaginas

1 I was at a bar the other night, it doesnโ€™t matter where because Iโ€™m lying. 2 But, um- I wasโ€ฆ โ€“ I was at a bar, and, uh, um, I was waiting for the bathroom for a really long time. 3 There was a guy in the bathroom and Iโ€™m waiting for him. 4 And then after a while, this guy that works there walks by. 5 He goes, โ€œAre you still waiting?โ€ 6 And Iโ€™m like, โ€œYeah.โ€ 7 So he bangs on the door and he goes, โ€œCome, asshole, shit and get out!โ€ 8 And then he walks away. 9 I was in New York. 10 I went to a-uh, I went to this Polish meat place in New York, and I go to the guy at theย counter,ย 11 I was like, โ€œHey, could I get a sandwich?โ€ 12 And heโ€™s like, โ€œYes!โ€ 13 And he just made me a sandwich. 14 Heh, heh, heh. That was it. 15 He didnโ€™t ask me what kind or anything--Heย just madeย it. 16 It had, like, raisins and bones in it. 17 What the fuck? 18 People from other countries eat weird food, man. 19 I was in Chinatown, and, uh, you know one of theย  groceries. 20 I knowย  thatโ€™s not another country, but, uh, you know โ€“ ha ha ha โ€“ you-you know the grocery stores in Chinatown. 21 Theyโ€™re for the Chinese people. 22 They eat their actualย  food. 23 And, uh, Iย  was in one of those, and they-they had duck vaginas, I swear to god. 24 A huge barrel of fuckinโ€™ duck vaginasโ€ฆ 25 With a scoop stuck in it. 26 Yeah! โ€“ and Iโ€™mย  standing there justย  staring at this fucking hugeโ€ฆ 27 And Iโ€™m thinking, Could we possibly dominate a species more than that--than that-weโ€™re selling their vaginas in a fuckingย barrel? 28 Ducks are just like, โ€œDudesโ€ฆ Jesus. 29 You won the war...Take it easy--you donโ€™t have to sell our vaginas.โ€ 30 I didnโ€™t get any, because I donโ€™t want to know. 31 What if I love duck vaginas? 32 I donโ€™t want to find out. 33 Itโ€™s not like millions of things taste like a fucking duck vagina. 34 It would be very specific to be addicted to that. 35 Not for me.

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