Shameless 2
Duck Vaginas
1 I was at a bar the other night, it doesnโt matter where because Iโm lying. 2 But, um- I wasโฆ โ I was at a bar, and, uh, um, I was waiting for the bathroom for a really long time. 3 There was a guy in the bathroom and Iโm waiting for him. 4 And then after a while, this guy that works there walks by. 5 He goes, โAre you still waiting?โ 6 And Iโm like, โYeah.โ 7 So he bangs on the door and he goes, โCome, asshole, shit and get out!โ 8 And then he walks away. 9 I was in New York. 10 I went to a-uh, I went to this Polish meat place in New York, and I go to the guy at theย counter,ย 11 I was like, โHey, could I get a sandwich?โ 12 And heโs like, โYes!โ 13 And he just made me a sandwich. 14 Heh, heh, heh. That was it. 15 He didnโt ask me what kind or anything--Heย just madeย it. 16 It had, like, raisins and bones in it. 17 What the fuck? 18 People from other countries eat weird food, man. 19 I was in Chinatown, and, uh, you know one of theย groceries. 20 I knowย thatโs not another country, but, uh, you know โ ha ha ha โ you-you know the grocery stores in Chinatown. 21 Theyโre for the Chinese people. 22 They eat their actualย food. 23 And, uh, Iย was in one of those, and they-they had duck vaginas, I swear to god. 24 A huge barrel of fuckinโ duck vaginasโฆ 25 With a scoop stuck in it. 26 Yeah! โ and Iโmย standing there justย staring at this fucking hugeโฆ 27 And Iโm thinking, Could we possibly dominate a species more than that--than that-weโre selling their vaginas in a fuckingย barrel? 28 Ducks are just like, โDudesโฆ Jesus. 29 You won the war...Take it easy--you donโt have to sell our vaginas.โ 30 I didnโt get any, because I donโt want to know. 31 What if I love duck vaginas? 32 I donโt want to find out. 33 Itโs not like millions of things taste like a fucking duck vagina. 34 It would be very specific to be addicted to that. 35 Not for me.
