Today is World Goth Day. Here are some goth facts:

Today is World Goth Day. Here are some goth facts :

1.) The Goths' sacking of Rome in 410 A.D. has been attributed to Rome's sh-tty offensive line.

They just didn't buy Rome the time it needed in the pocket to get the ball in the air. Rome hasn't been to the playoffs since.

2.) Goths will see someone dressed in all black and be like "that outfit clashes."

Only professors of African American studies are more finely attuned to blackness.

3.) One easy way to tell whether someone is goth is if they have to sharpen an eyeliner pencil 7 times during a single application.

4.) Goths have been the puppetmasters behind all of society, manipulating world events toward the creation of vanta black, the invention of which will finally allow goths to open a portal to the goth homeworld Necrovelvetica, where queen Mary Shelley rules from her obsidian throne amidst the sounds of bats playing the harpsichord.

5.) Goth is more than wearing black. Other goth interests include

-Reading books where people get murdered a lot -Watching movies where people get murdered a lot -Consuming documentaries about people who murder a lot -Dancing

6.) While often thought by the mainstream public to be uniformly satanist, the most widespread faith among goths is Faith & the Muse, which is worshipped at the Temple of Love.

7.) There are 4 levels of goth corset tightening : 1-Stop being a little bitch 2-Stop being a little bitch 3-Stop being a little bitch 4-Fine. But you could have gone tighter, you little bitch

8.) In recent years, especially with the prominence of emo the public's understanding of what typifies goth subculture has sort of been lost. The Kardashian-Jenners have repeatedly been referred to as goth. Original goths would do something about all this but their knees keep acting up and they can't find their blood pressure medication.

Submitted by Voilet Gray